Pi in the Sky

The MAME Board Sk3n3 in 2006

Publicado el 23 de Julio, 2007 a las 9:18am por Pi.
Categorías: Cosas, Juegos, Sin Traducción.

A little bird told me that mame.net is going to disappear, and the domain is going to redirect to the one and only official MAME site. To remark this occasion, I’m reposting this little thing I wrote in a private forum about a year ago, about the parties and flamewars happening in mame.net boards (and other MAME-related boards, but mainly in mame.net). It is mainly original and untouched, although I added a couple of words here and there. Only funny for people who have visited those boards.

Who says 2006 says 2007 or any other year. This is currently a never-ending and rarely changing cycle, which has certain steps, some very frequent, and some very rare.

* Someone asks about the status of emulation of (insert frequently asked game). 50% of possibilities of degenerating into a flamewar.

* Someone tells MAMEDevs how easy is to do (insert impossible or unwanted task here) and how he would do it if he had the skills. Skills needed to know why such task is impossible, and since he lacks those skills, he still doesn’t understand why it’s impossible or wrong to make a multi-CPU MAME, use whatever 3D graphics car for acceleration, make MAME work with 2, 1, 0 or even a negative number of monitors, or make MAME track game credits. Degenerates into a flamewar.

* Someone tells MAMEDevs how easy is to do (insert impossible or unwanted task here) and how he would do it. Unfortunately, he’s somewhat knowledgeable, but refuses to understand the points and arguments from the more experienced and almost surely 100 times better coders that MAMEDevs are. Degenerates into a long, long flamewar.

* Someone asks a perfectly valid and innocent question. Someone jumps in in a totally unneeded harsh way. Degenerates into a flamewar.

* Someone new appears in the boards. He starts answering in every damn thread with apparently witty, funny and/or sarcastic comments, most of the times interrupting a perfectly good and sane thread. Until everyone realizes that he’s just a buffoon and has nearly nothing to contribute to the board. When he’s pointed to this fact, it degenerates into a flamewar.

* A new MAME release is announced. 50% of possibilites that someone says that improvements of (insert most wanted game) are nice but when is (insert most wanted game) going to be looked at. Degenerates into a flamewar.

* Someone makes a valid question. Gets a valid answer. 50% of possibilities of degenerating into a flamewar for any of the previous cycle steps.

* An obvious troll tries to troll the board. He gets catched up instantly. 50% of possibilities that the OP wasn’t a troll and his question was legit, but no one cares.

* Someone states that he knows that bugs must be reported to MameTesters, but still thinks that this bug/quirk must be reported in the General board instead, who knows why. 50% of possibilities of degenerating into a flamewar.

* Someone thinks that the General board is his personal help board and for the space of a week, 50% of the messages are from this guy asking how to do (insert easy task you could learn by yourself reading the FAQ or visiting EasyEmu). At one point, someone will answer harshly. 50% of possibilities of degenerating into a flamewar, 50% of possibilites the OP will run away and start using NeoRageX instead.

* Someone thinks that the General board is for anything, anything MAME related, and asks about how fix his refrigeration circuit in his new car (model SUX 5000) because that morning he played Galaga using MAME 0.37. He gets redirected promptly to a more appropiate board. 50% chances that the OP will patiently explain why his question was valid. Then it degenerates into a flamewar.

* Someone asks where to find roms. Whatever the answers are, correct or harsh, if the OP answers in not the most polite way, the thread degenerates into a flamewar.

* There’s a WIP report with a link to a dev page. Surprisingly, it doesn’t degenerate into a flamewar.

* Someone tries to tell MAMEDevs what MAME really is about and why they’re all a bunch of hypocrites. With a stubborn stance, he doesn’t listen to any reason or argument, because he’s so sure he’s like being in possesion of the absolute truth, as if his opinions were some kind of religious dogma. Degenerates into a flamewar, with possible mentions of condoms.

* Announce of a great emulation milestone related to protection/CPU core/internal change. Everyone applauds. 50% of chances that any of the previous cycle steps will punch in and make it degenerate into a flamewar.

* Someone writes a stupid document about what are the cycle steps for the MAME General board, intentionally forgetting a couple of the most important, flamewar-inducing steps.

I understand that some people like flame wars, they find them entertaining and all that. But that’s not the point of all the boards. Some boards could be really valuable if they weren’t plagued by trolls, and this is (was) the case of the MAME General board. It’s so damn pathetic and useless in the way it’s moderated now. Don’t misunderstand me, it’s not bitching, it has been like this for a long time. I’m just stating the obvious. And I hope it made you smile at least once.

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Zzul 20070629-0947 (eMule 0.48a) »« Mi propia PS2

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